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When we meet that special someone and "fall in love" we hope that our relationship will continually grow especially since we connect in so many wonderful ways. Gradually as we begin to experience changes in our preferences, attitudes and personalities, we may wonder why these differences which seemed to draw us together are now creating conflict in our relationship.
Rather than perceiving these differences as cause for alarm, they may be an invitation to grow & expand our personalities and help to define our true selves.
Couples are invited to envision the type of relationship they desire and the personal changes that each wants to make to become the partner that they aspire to be. The common misconception about marriage counseling that many people operate from is to describe in painstaking detail the changes their partner needs to make. Instead a proactive approach is to focus on the effective behaviors that each is willing to make in her/himself. After all, whose behavior can we control? Awaiting changes in someone else leaves us in a very powerless position.
Peter is licensed as a Marriage & Family Therapy (LMFT) in North Carolina and he is also a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) as well as the NC Association for Marriage & Family Therapy (NCAMFT). For more information about Marriage & Family Therapy follow this link to AAMFT. For interesting articles about relationships follow this link to The Couples Institute.
